On an Ebb

Thankfully, I was beginning to wonder if i was ever going to see it again.

Since my last update, i have since stopped taking Sam-e. It really wasn't doing anything for the anxiety, and since I'm not depressed, i really didn't see the sense in taking it. I'll keep it in the nutritional section of my pantry for now.

I have managed to only have 1 mild flutter of anxiety this week prior to going to my client. I managed to get through the brief annoyance. The 2nd mild flutter was with the younger client on a walk on the first extremely hot day this week. We did 2 miles, 3/4 of which where up-hill at mostly a 45º incline. It was a scorcher, and I wasn't prepared for a walk that day, but she wanted to walk as opposed to doing her training so walk we did.. I'm going to have to start charging more for that stuff lol. I don't mind though, good training for my Spartan Sprint on June 4th!  Less than 2 weeks away!!

So anyway, we were about .75 of a mile from her home when i just started feeling weird.. i let it go, then i actually had a heart palp, and then i got nervous, trying to shut down an anxiety ridden mind is like trying to shut off a fire hydrant with a toothbrush. My greatest fear was her being in a situation where i fell ill and she needed to go for help or something.. i know, i know.. stupid, but that is what people with anxiety like mine worry about. However, i kept on trucking up those damn hills lol, and started REALLY dumb conversations just to keep my mind off of it. Oh and i also found a nail at the end of someone's driveway and picked it up and disposed of it properly, would want them to get a flat tire lol. See! it's stupid stuff like that! 

Between the bootcamps and the hill training I'm getting here i think I'll be good in a week-and-a-half! At least i hope so anyway!

The reason for this post.. silly me.. i noticed now that I'm exercising extensively with the 0530 bootcamps and some client workouts at the end of some days, I'm too tired to have anxiety. I mean I'm exhausted. I was sitting in traffic on my way home from my "up-hill" client the other day and i literally wanted to close my eyes and sleep. NORMALLY i would be a frantic mess trying to find the path of least resistance home. I'm just too tired to care anymore, even though the brain is subconsciously controlling those attacks, my conscious self is like "Would you cut the crap already, I'm tired.. my body weary"...

Hopefully, now that the system is calmed down from the last major attack, that this will be more the norm.. I like riding on the Ebb