Strength in Tragedy

Late last night my phone rang, it was my Mother, crying hysterically on the other end.

She had gone out with her lady friends for their monthly ladies dinner, and when she got home the waterworks started and didn’t stop. So she called me.

Not sure if you remember, but her Fiance (Ken Baker) passed away back in August. She was doing very well for a little while, but lately it’s becoming harder and harder for her to deal with his passing, understandably.

The ladies had gone to one of Mom and Ken’s favorite restaurants and more than 1/2 of the 14 of them ordered Chilean Sea Bass, his favorite. All of that just brought back the emotions i guess, but she managed to keep it together until she was on her way home, and that’s when it all really hit her.

Trying to talk to her on the phone last night was very difficult for me. I wanted to just bust out crying because i could hear the pain she was in. The ony thing i could do was offer her the support and pass on the knowledge i gained from when i was in therapy years ago.  Ironically, everything i was offering to her her temporary counselor had already spoke to her about. (I should charge for this! lol)

Suffering the sudden loss of a loved one is, i guess you can say, is a form of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It can take up to 2 years, and longer in some cases, to deal with something of this magnitude. It did for me when i went through my situation back in 2005.

I went through psychological counseling and it was 4 years later that i started medication to help with the physical after effects of the stress. I feel great now. I love both of my doctors and the knowledge i gain from them is what is helping me deal with my Mother now.

Everything happens for a reason i do believe, as previously stated in other posts. Had i not gotten sick 4 years ago i would never be able to assist my Mother now in what she’s going through. Did it suck back then? Oh yeah, it felt like death was around the corner at every moment. But i fought and i beat it and i’m am an insanely stonger person for it.

Mom, everything will be ok. It sucks right now, but it will get better i promise. If it didn’t i wouldn’t be hear right now.

Reading or Listening

Books have long been a tool to learn, to lose yourself, or to grow yourself.

I love to read, and I’d rather read a book than watch TV sometimes. My favorite place to read is in the backyard, on the deck with a nice cool beverage (or hot coffee depending on the season). It’s quiet, (for the most part), and relaxing. The sounds of nature distract your brain from drifting (which mine has the tendency to do, especially when it’s a very good book).

Normally i read books that pertain to self help, in thought and in my relationships with others, crime books, decorating and design, and more recently wedding planning. Though, with my most recent purchase still due to arrive, I decided to change it up a bit this time. I ordered “The Shack” on audio book.

I believe that you are directed down a certain path for a reason. I believe there are signs that lead you to that path. Those signs can be either bold and in your face, or subtle and discreet.  I’m not a water-walker by any means, but i do have a God and i believe he’s there to help me be a better person.

Last Sunday’s church handout had a plethora of information regarding programs that are about to start or have recently started for those that want to enrich themselves or the lives of others. One that particularly caught my attention was the book/reading club. the book they are discussing now is “The Shack”. My curiosity has been peaked enough for me to Google this book to find out more about it.  I have no current plans on joining the book club though, but i have now found a good resource to introduce me to books i would not have come across otherwise.

What i found was a website dedicated solely to this book which offered a preview of the Forward and the entire first chapter. I didn’t want to put it down, err rather close the screen. So to amazon i went and i purchased the audio book.

I think what led me to making that decision was the fact that the book does not come in hard cover. I like hard cover books better than paperback. They last longer, and they look better on the shelves of the library i am in the process of creating.

I’m excited about my purchase and i can not wait to receive it. It will become good listening material on my long commutes to my FH’s house on Fridays while i’m sitting in traffic.